On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
