hell yes lets make some ravioli
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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