Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize