I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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