He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
