Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
