At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
