glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my phone needs a breathalizer
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
