I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I haven't been this sober since birth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
