i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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