PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
