I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
