i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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