The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
