Can i not drive my cunt home
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
