you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
