I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
