I've blown a few things in my day
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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