Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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