a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
