i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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