the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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