At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
