we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize