Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Welp...herpes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
