Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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