Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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