Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
