He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
