At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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