Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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