I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
