Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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