Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
