my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
