Nicole vs. Life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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