our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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