I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's on the porch naked. Help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
