Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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