if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
