He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize