i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
