Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
