sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
