u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize