I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
