I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
