i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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