So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
