she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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