i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
