How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
