"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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