She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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