wat bout pragnant strippers??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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