I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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