Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I cockslap morals
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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