I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize