After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
