oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
