It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
