Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I enjoy the company of your penis
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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