I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
