I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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