If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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