im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
