Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
