Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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