i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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